This article is a parody of the final scene in Charlie Chaplin’s The Great Dictator. You’re encouraged to play this clip in the background while reading. Personally, I prefer this version with the Inception theme added in.
I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be a developer. That’s not my business.
I don’t want to sell-to or profit from anyone. I should like to host tournaments for everyone, if possible.
Casual, competitive, meta or for-fun. We all want to play with one another; Hearthstone players are like that. We want to live by each other’s skill, not by each other’s luck. We don’t want to topdeck or highroll one another.
In this game, there is room for everyone, and the ladder is rich and can provide for everyone. The style of deck can be unique and beautiful.
But we have lost the way.
Netdecking has poisoned players’ souls, has barricaded our minds with stats, has meta-slaved us into confusion and sub-optimal plays.
We have developed guides, but we have shut ourselves in. Websites that give abundance have left us in misunderstanding.
Our experience has made us closed-minded, our ranks arrogant and bad-mannered.
We think too much and feel too little.
More than stats, we need skill. More than rating, we need innovation and knowledge.
Without these qualities, Hearthstone will be monotonous and rankings will decay.
Battlefy and the friends list have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in players, cries out for universal competition: for the unity of us all.
Even now, my writing is reaching millions throughout the internet – millions of despairing competitors, casuals and for-fun players, victims of a system that makes players rage and emote innocent people.
To those who can read this I say: do not uninstall! The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of bad game design, the bitterness of developers who fear the way of a developing meta.
The hate of designers will pass, and employees quit, and the power they took from the players will return to the players. And so long as people get fired, skill will never perish.
Competitors, don’t give yourselves to brutes! Tournament organizers who despise you, enslave you, who regiment your schedule, tell you what to run, when to play and how to act! Who exhaust you, ruin your weekend, treat you like no-lives, use you as advertisement.
Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural workers; corporate workers with corporate minds and corporate hearts.
You are not corporations. You are not advertisements. You are players!
You have the love of gaming in your hearts. You don’t hate, only the noobs hate. The noobs and the corporations.
Competitors, don’t fight for RNG; fight for skill!
In patch 1.2.0.6485, it is written: “We like having a variety of deck types but taking 20+ damage in one turn is not very fun or interactive.”
Interactivity in you! You, the players, have the power. The power to create decks, the power to create skill. You, the players, have the power to make Hearthstone skilled and competitive, to make this game a wonderful adventure.
Then in the name of fun, let us use that power; let us all unite! Let us fight for a new meta, a decent meta, that will give players a chance to win, that will give new players a future and streamers prime subs.
By the promise of these things, the Masters Tour was invented. But it’s a scam! It doesn’t cover travel costs, it never will.
Qualifiers profit themselves, but they enslave your weekends.
Now, let us fight for better tournaments. Let us fight for better metas, to do away with unwinnable games, with RNG, with emoting and roping.
Let us fight for a game of skill, a world where experience and decisions will impact a match.
Competitors, in the name of interactivity, let us all unite!
